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High School programmer skips college, goes directly to pros

Jared Kanga, returning from bathroom

PORTLAND, OR. – Amidst the flurry of announcements at National Signing Day 2011, Jared Kanga of West Portland  High School has indicated he intends to skip college and start work right away.

In a prepared statement, Kanga said, “I just don’t think college is going to give me anything I can’t learn on my own. I’ve seen other paths work just as well.”

Kanga referenced the success of his 14-year old brother, Alex Kanga, after he released the game “Fartzilla” for Apple iPhone. The game features a lizard like creature that shoots fire not from his mouth, but his rear.  Alex posted on his Facebook wall, “2M downlawds! OMG! Suck it Jared!”

Ranked #32 overall, Kanga’s announcement comes as a bit of a surprise, given his prospects.

“His ranking, if you will call it, is predicated on the assumption he does go to college,” commented one recruiter, “without developing his skills in a CS program, kinda makes him worthless.”

Kanga’s parents agree.  ”Why he can’t spend a couple years screwing around with girls and going to parties is beyond us,” said Kanga’s mother, “what kind of nerd did we raise?”

Kanga, however, is undeterred.  ”I’ve got lots of ideas right now.  Like a game called Fartasaurus. Or my own Facebook, but just for my friends.  But the thing I’m going to work on first is something called Foursquare.  I don’t know what it is, what it’ll do or what value it’ll bring but it’ll be awesome.”


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